You got me where you want me again.

Upon reflection, I believe I’ve became too content with my life. It wasn’t just the idle time and boredeom that brought me to where I am right now spiritually. There was a lot more behind the scenes.Things were looking good and I felt as if God finally let me live an easy life. Things that haven’t fell into place were, and the future looked bright. Then I got a little cocky and needed to be humbled.

I’ve been praying certain prayers in the past few months and God has revealed himself to me through them. I basked in his presence and I consumed his blessings. After he answered a prayer I relaxed on that prayer because my mind was at ease. I became a hypocrite of my own advice, that we need to be reminded daily of God’s love and provision. I just thought to myself, “Sweet, thanks God! Catch ya later.”

He took it away from me, forcing me turn back towards him. Well, you win God. You always do.

Begrudgingly, I’m back to square one.

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Today during Sunday school we talked about bad days:

²²The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten. ²³After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. ²⁴Upon receiving such orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks. ²⁵About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.

Acts 16:22-25

So much do I want to be like Paul. I felt ashamed knowing that I didn’t respond to suffering and misery in the same manner as Paul. Instead of dealing with it, I just got angry at God. And he’s rightfully correcting me.

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But here’s what excites me. God does not want me to live a comfortable life. Even the slightest tangent to his will was corrected (harshly). He definitely wants me on the straight and narrow. I believe his plans for me are greater than my plans for myself. I believe that he has a great goal in mind for using me in his kingdom. I’m very excited.

I’ve been wallowing in depression lately, but I’m at the trough. It’s picking up only to blast even stronger than before. I just need to get out of my way.

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