Losing hope is easy
October 4, 2009
Every time I hear the topic of people falling away I think about her. Maybe it was her wedding that sort of made me lose some hope? Or maybe it was just her slow process of resentment and disgust with the church? Why did she marry that guy? I don’t know what she sees in him. I was hoping for someone that could be a spiritual influence on her, someone that can guide her back to the right path. But she was never looking for it.
The church is a great place to grow spiritually. Personally, I can attest to the benefits of coming to church and having my spiritual family raise me. Conversely, it was the same church that negated her belief of God’s love, his compassion and provision. I don’t know how God works, and I know I’ll never find out. How is it that the two of us, who went through near identical circumstances, faced similar personal issues, walked same roads, end up in two different places?
I want to be able to have deep conversations with her. For us to find spiritual ways we can communicate to our mom without us having to always fight. For us to pray for each other. We used to be so close. We’ve been through a lot together, we have so much in common. But the more I seek God, the farther I feel from her.
This was a fake smile.
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I was reminded of this passage.
3Then Jesus told them this parable: 4“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
Luke 15:3-7
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It saddens me to see people come so close to the truth, so close to the light, and so close to the greatest prize ever, to only turn away from it as if they found something better. What caused it? What can we do to remind people about how great His kingdom is? Why is losing hope so easy? How can I help find God’s lost sheep? What can I do?
And then God simply replied: Nothing.
I will continue to pray earnestly for God to convict with the Holy Spirit. I’ll continue to try and be a light, but it’s all in God’s hands. I need to have faith in knowing that his will is pure.
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I love her to death, even her stupid son Rupert.
